REST.

I am taking a rest for personal reasons. Maybe I’ll update the website with new content sporadically. Bookmark my website and come back when you have free time.

 

An Overview Of How To Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie (Part 1)

Dale Carnegie. A reformed hothead who learned the art of manipulation after experiencing a series of down spirals in his life. Initially, I thought that this book was a lite version of the 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene, but I was wrong. The 48 Laws Of Power is a beginner manual on how to build power and respect. How To Win Friends And Influence People is an extension which helps you to maintain the power and respect that you’ve earned. So let’s dive right into it.

How To Influence People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

2. Dale Carnegie opens by saying that most criminals and politicians try to justify their actions when faced with criticism.

3. He explains that you shouldn’t expect normal people to take responsibility for their actions if most criminals and politicians refuse to do so.

What does this mean for you?

1. You should refrain from giving constructive criticism unless it will help you to achieve your goals (whatever your goals may be).

2. You can increase your influential power by not triggering the defensive shields of others.

Give Honest And Sincere Appreciation

1. Well-timed compliments help to influence the behavior of people.

2. He opens by saying that everyone wants to feel important.

3. He explains that most people become subservient when you make them feel important.

What does this mean for you?

1. You should give strategic praise to those who can help to further your cause.

Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want

1. Give people what they think they want in order to get what you want.

2. Think about what the other person wants before you think about what you want.

3. Frame the solution as a win for the other person.

What does this mean for you?

1. You can entice others to behave the way that you like with carrots.

2. The way you present the carrot is more important than the carrot itself.

3. The way you present the carrot changes the perception of the carrot.

How To Make Friends

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Dale Carnegie opens by saying that the key to knowing people is by asking them stupid questions about themselves.

3. He explains that you can build helpful relationships by getting to know peoples names and inquiring about the small details in peoples lives.

What does this mean for you?

1. You should put your energy into courteous interactions with all types of people for the purpose of network building.

2. Only by getting to know people will you discover the resources and connections they have.

Smile

1. He opens by saying that pretending to be happy makes you feel happy.

2. Carnegie explains that happiness attracts people.

3. Happiness + People = Success.

What does this mean for you?

1. You shouldn’t dwell on negative emotions.

2. You should learn to convert your negative emotions into positive emotions and smile.

Remember That A Person’s Name Is To That Person The Sweetest And Most Important Sound In Any Language

1. He opens and closes by saying that name recognition makes it easier to accomplish your goals.

What does this mean for you?

1. You should try your best to remember the names of important people because it will work in your favor over the long run.

Be A Good Listener. Encourage Others To Talk About Themselves.

1. He opens by saying that most of us aren’t half as interesting we think we are.

2. Carnegie explains that it’s always better to indulge others and stroke their egos instead of our own.

What does this mean for you?.

1. You should indulge others and listen to their rambles.

Talk In Terms Of The Other Person’s Interests

1. He opens by saying that it’s often better to take an indirect approach to get what you want.

2. Carnegie explains that learning how to ramble is a good way to build interest.

3. He closes by saying that you should usually avoid taking the direct route.

What does this mean for you?

1. It means that you can miss opportunities to get what you want by taking the bull in a China shop approach to things.

Make The Other Person Feel Important And Do It Sincerely

1. Carnegie opens by saying that everyone is better than you in some aspect.

2. He explains that you need to make those people feel important in what they do so that you can get what you want out of them.

What does this mean for you?

1. You should pull people up in an attempt to unlock their talents and abilities (only if it helps to serve your cause).

How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

1. Carnegie opens and closes by explaining that avoiding confrontation can sometimes assist you in getting what you want.

“… I have listened to, engaged in, and watched the effect of thousands of arguments. As a result of all this, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it… Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right… A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” – Dale Carnegie

What does this mean for you?

  1. You shouldn’t waste time trying to win arguments when you could use that time to win at life.
  2. It’s okay to surrender in arguments if it’ll ultimately help you get closer to achieving your goals.

Show Respect For The Other Person’s Opinion. Never Say, “You’re Wrong.”

  1. Carnegie opens by saying that trying to prove others wrong only creates enemies.
  2. He explains that it’s better to concede and find a way to create common ground.
  3. He closes by saying that your goal should be to disarm those with a bull in China shop attitude by finding common ground.

“Men must be taught as if you taught them not,
And things unknown proposed as things forgot.”

“Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.”

“Our first reaction to most of other people’s statements is to evaluate or judge rather than understand.”

What does this mean for you?

  1. You should deploy the line “I may be wrong, I frequently am. But let’s examine the facts” as way to find common ground.
  2. You should find ways to make the other person say “yes” in an attempt to disarm them.
  3. It means that once common ground is found and the person is disarmed, you can then guide them towards your line of thinking.

If You Are Wrong, Admit It Quickly And Emphatically

  1. Carnegie explains that it’s strategically clever to admit you’re wrong when you know that you’re wrong.

What does this mean for you?

1. You should admit when you’re wrong, rectify it, learn from it and come out stronger than those who cautiously try to avoid making missteps.

Begin In A Friendly Way

  1. Carnegie opens and closes by explaining that most conflicts can be resolved by starting in a friendly and agreeable manner.

What does this mean for you?

  1. When you open with aggression you remove the possibility of diplomacy.
  2. You should always approach others in a diplomatic way (regardless of the circumstances). If diplomacy doesn’t work, then you can take the aggressive route.

Get The Other Person Saying “Yes” Immediately

  1. This chapter is a review of “Talk in terms of the other person’s interests”

Let The Other Person Do A Great Deal Of Talking

  1. This chapter is a review of “Be a good listener” and “Encourage people to talk about themselves.”

Let The Person Feel That The Idea Is His Or Hers

1. Carnegie opens by saying that you have to casually plant your ideas into the minds others.

2. He explains that most people will eventually believe that your ideas were their own original ideas in the first place.

3. He closes by saying that sometimes you have to hand the glory over to others (if you want to control them).

What does this mean for you?

  1. It means that you can control your superiors by letting the glory shine on them.
  2. It means that sometimes you have to trade glory and recognition for power.

Try Honesty To See Things From The Other Person’s Point Of View

  1. Carnegie opens and closes by saying that you need to understand the other persons point of view in order to have a respectful and productive discussion.

What does this mean for you?

  1. You have to be in sync with others thoughts and emotions to build rapport.

Be Sympathetic With The Other Person’s Ideals And Desires

  1. Carnegie opens by saying that you can stop all arguments with this line “I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. If I were you, I’d probably feel the same.”
  2. He closes by saying that most people will put their guns down after you’ve expressed sympathy for them.

What does this mean for you?

  1. You need to internalize the following lines below.
  2. “I may be wrong, I frequently am… But let’s look at the facts.”
  3. “I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. If I were you, I’d probably feel the same.”

Appeal To The Nobler Motives

  1. Carnegie claims that most people will react favorably to your motives if you appeal to their honesty, uprightness, and fairness.

Dramatize Your Ideas

“Merely stating the truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship.”

What does this mean for you?

  1. Good ideas are useless without strong marketing.

 

 

I’m getting tired, so I’ll split this book overview into two parts. Check back tomorrow.

The political compass test pt. 2

You can view my answers here Taking the political compass test. (It will open on a separate page).

1. Of course, economic globalization should mainly serve the people. Not the corporations.
2. Soft disagree.
3. Disagree. It was by chance that I was born into the family that I have. That doesn’t mean that my love for them should change. So, no I don’t think it’s foolish to feel a sense of pride for your country of birth.
4. I’m a white guy, and I agree with this statement.
5. Yeah, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
6. Soft agree.
7. Agree.
8. Yeah, agree.
9. Strongly disagree. Decreasing the rate of unemployment is more important than controlling inflation.
10. I agree. There must be standard regulations that require corporations to protect the environment.
11. Strongly disagree. Fuck off Karl Marx.
12. Agree. Tap water water should be good enough for the whole of society.
13. Strongly disagree. I’m in favor of buying and selling land.
14. Yeah, I agree.
15. Agreed. Protectionism is sometimes necessary in trade.
16. Disagree. That’s not to say that it isn’t important for companies to deliver profits to their shareholders. However, I believe that the needs of the employees should come first as they’re the most important asset to every company.
17. I agree that the rich are taxed too much in Canada. There is a declining incentive to strive for greatness because of the ridiculously high taxes that are imposed on the wealthy and the middle class. The federal government redistributes your hard earned tax dollars to lazy, undeserving people. They say that this redistribution of money is done in good faith. I don’t think so.
18. Yeah, I agree. I’m not in favor of paying for medical care through my taxes. When I need medical care, I’ll pay for it. Medical care should be a private enterprise.
19. Agree.
20. Agree.
21. Disagree. You could have a free market under a political dictatorship. A free market doesn’t necessarily indicate that the people are more free.
22. Agree. I’m a pro-life guy. I don’t agree with killing babies.
23. Yes, I agree. All authority should be questioned.
24. Agree.
25. Disagree. Taxpayer money should be used to fund some museums and theaters.
26. Soft disagree. Classroom attendance should be compulsory during primary school, middle school, and high school. However, I don’t think that classroom attendance should be compulsory in college or university.
27. I agree, but this appears to be a race baiting question. Realistically speaking, people have more in common with those who were raised in a similar way (in terms of cultural traditions, morals, and values). So yes, more often than not it’s better for people to stick to their own.
28. Agree. I was a naughty kid, and the fear of getting spanked by my parents helped to straighten me out. Sometimes kids need to be spanked.
29. Agree.
30. Soft disagree. I have nothing against people who want to purchase marijuana for personal use. The punishment for possession shouldn’t be too harsh. I don’t support the legalization of marijuana because it will cause a domino effect. Which will inevitably increase the speed of decline in society.
31. Yes, I agree. The main function of university/college should be to equip the future generation to find jobs in their field of study.
32. I’m sympathetic towards those with serious inheritable disabilities. However, I have to agree. Soft agree.
33. Yes, I agree. And I think that the Chinese education system is doing a better job at teaching children self-discipline than the Canadian education system.
34. This is a stupid one. Yes, there are savage people and civilized people. Most people are a byproduct of the culture from the country/society where they were raised. To say differently is naive.
35. Strongly agree. If you are capable of working, and you choose not to earn a living. Then you shouldn’t expect society to help support you.
36. Agree.
37. Disagree. My parents are first generation immigrants to Canada and they integrated perfectly.
38. Disagree.
39. Disagree. Christian broadcasting networks should receive public funding in Canada.
40. Agree.
41. This is a tricky question. Yes, I agree that a one-party state has an advantage over the Democratic political system (by avoiding all arguments). However, it doesn’t mean that I’m in favor of a one-party state.
42. Disagree. I believe that everyone has a right to privacy.
43. Agree. The death penalty should be an option for the most serious crimes.
44. Um yeah, I agree. That’s just how civilized societies function.
45. Strongly disagree. Look at the works of Jackson Pollock. This guy played a major role in the abstract arts movement.
46. Soft agree. Most cases involving criminals who’ve committed serious offenses can not be rehabilitated. For example, pedophiles. These people are sick and twisted. I’m very doubtful that you can rehabilitate them. When it comes to extreme criminal offenses, I support punishment over rehabilitation.
47. Agree, we just covered that topic.
48. Strongly disagree. The businessman and the manufacturer keep the economic wheel spinning. The artist and the writer influence and inspire people.
49. This is a terrible question because they’ve twisted it in such a way that you have to somehow choose between Mothers being house slaves or corporate slaves. A Mothers first duty is to take care of her children. So I reluctantly agree that a woman’s first duty is to be a “homemaker.”
50. Agree.
51. Disagree. Submitting to the establishment has nothing to do with maturity.
52. Hahaha!! Who made this questionnaire? Strongly disagree.
53. Agree. If God does not exist, then objective moral values do not exist. Gods nature provides a standard reference point for moral values.
54. Agree.
55. Disagree. The more that your remain in a state of stasis, the more “unlucky” that you will be. If you keep moving like a shark then you will increase your luck. So, no I don’t believe that some people are naturally unlucky. I believe that some people are hardworking, and others are lazy.
56. Agree. I don’t have any children of my own, however, I attended a Catholic primary school, middle-school, and high-school. So, I see the value in religious education institutions.
57. I agree that sex outside of marriage is immoral. And although I participate in the act of non marital sex, I’m not opposed to cultures or societies that ridicule and shame those who participate in it.
58. Strongly disagree. Same sex couples who adopt cause irreparable damage to children. They should never be given the opportunity to adopt and warp the innocent minds of little children. That’s child abuse.
59. Disagree. I’ve been living abroad in China for more than four years now, and I see the benefits of making pornography inaccessible. When a government makes pornography inaccessible nationwide, it’s a sign that they care about the well being of their people.
60. Agree.
61. Disagree.
62. Strongly agree. Openness about sex has gone way too far.

Taking the political compass test.

I decided to take this test to see what are my political affiliations. You can take the test at https://www.politicalcompass.org/test

My answers and results are below.

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My Results:

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According to this test I’m a centrist leaning towards the left, and authoritarianism. You can take the test by following the link below:

https://www.politicalcompass.org/test

The political compass test pt. 2

Decrease your dependence on the physical world with Orthodox fasting.

Welcome to try out Orthodox fasting with me.

Here are the rules:

  1. On the red days you can’t consume meat, fish, dairy, eggs, alcohol, and oil.
  2. On the green days you can’t consume meat, dairy, fish, and eggs.
  3. On the blue days you can’t consume meat, dairy, and eggs.
  4. On the yellow days you can’t consume meat.
  5. On the white days you can eat what you like.

You can view the calendar below.

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You don’t have to say that you’re a TRUMP supporter to support TRUMP. 

Whenever you meet an anti-Trump person who forces the topic of politics on you, just egg them on. Troll them. Just sit there and say:

  1. “Oh yeah, orange man is bad. That racist bigot. Fuck him, and fuck his hair.”
  2. “That’s right. This asshole is the one responsible for institutionalized racism and sexism. He’s the one preventing women and blacks from achieving equal opportunities in the labor force.”
  3. “Did you hear about the nazi concentration camps that he’s building on the Mexican border? I heard that the immigration officers working on the American/Mexico border are wearing swastikas on their uniform sleeves.”
  4. “Did you know that there has been a huge increase in the amount of KKK white supremacist armies? Oh yeah, it’s totally true. And every night they light up their tiki torches and hunt black men.”
  5. “Police officers, don’t even get me started. Seriously, don’t get me started.”
  6. “Oh yeah, there was totally collusion with Russia. I saw a picture of Donald Trump galloping on the back of a unicorn across a rainbow bridge with Vladimir Putin on Facebook, and that was all the evidence I needed.”

You have to be very serious and visibly distressed if you want to pull off that last one. And don’t forget to bob your head up and down like a parrot when you say it.

Conclusion: 

Vote TRUMP 2020.

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Let’s talk numbers.

Over the past two years, I’ve been guilty of spending the majority of my earnings in an attempt to build a comfortable lifestyle in a foreign country and settle into a decent University. When your life is unstable you can’t think too much about saving. Your main objective will be survival, and you’ll experience this if you choose to follow the same path as myself. But once you reach the point of material comfort (you have a stable income, you have the tools needed to sustain a relatively comfortable lifestyle, some reliable friends, and a plan for your future), then you can begin to think about creating a financial buffer zone for yourself.

If you decide to do what I did (which was stupid), then you need to understand that it’s going to be tough. You’re going to have to learn how to rough it out. The second time that I came back to China I had little money, and I arrived to a shithole bachelor apartment with nothing but a bed and an ancient television. When I’d come home late at night and turn the lights on, I’d watch cockroaches scatter into the corners of the apartment. There were no kitchen tools, and I had to scrounge up enough cash to buy pots and pans for cooking. There was no central air conditioning, and the TV was so old that it didn’t even have an HDMI input. The money that I earned was enough to feed myself with eggs, chicken breast, bread, and ketchup. I managed to put enough cash aside to fuel myself with cheap Russian vodka and watered down Chinese beer. In the midst of this terrible situation, I was still able to lay some hot Russian women in my bed and save enough cash to pull myself out of this shit situation.

How did I pull myself out of this situation? I used my mouth.. Uh, wait.. that doesn’t sound right. What I mean to say is that I talked my way into better life circumstances. One thing that I’ve learned about the world is that you can talk your way into and out of anything that you so choose. You could call it GAME, but it works in every field of work. Male and female bosses both have a deep respect for GAME (charisma, charm, and persistence). Why? Because GAME was necessary for them to reach the power positions that they hold in their corporate businesses. So when they see a young determined dude march into their offices and present them with decent ideas in an effort to benefit their businesses, they invest. Why? Not because that guy has any good ideas, but because they see something in him.

What do bosses see in this guy? They see themselves. That’s right, he’s a mirror of who they were. Just some young chump with a willingness to go the extra mile. Bosses like this guy.

They don’t give a fuck about your university papers, they don’t give a fuck about where you went to school, and they certainly don’t give a fuck about where you were born or raised.

Do you want to know what they give a fuck about?

They give a fuck about how you can benefit them. They give a fuck about whether they can trust you to make decisions on your own which result in profits for the business. They give a fuck about whether you can turn them a profit.

And don’t ever think for one second that bosses don’t judge you for who you fuck. Your bosses observe the women that you date and use it as a way to determine your value as a man and an employee. Bosses (both male and female) are much more inclined to promote low performers who bang hot women, than high performers who bang whales and damaged women. I don’t have any solid evidence to prove this, but I have a pair of eyes just like you. That’s just how it is.

But anyway, let’s leave this topic and come back to the main point which is NUMBERS. MONEY. Your talk is worthless unless you have a little money to back you up.

So let’s take a look at some spreadsheets that will assist you to better manage your money. But before we begin, I want to note that:

1. You should have a stable income before you think about saving.
2. If you’re living in a foreign country as an expat, then you should create a comfortable lifestyle with a clear plan for the future before you begin to think about saving.

In the spreadsheets below I will outline how to manage your money from an average income to a bare minimum income in China.

Spreadsheet #1:

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  1. 16,000 RMB is your net income, and that’s a respectable salary in China. It allows you to have enough wiggle room to save a sizable portion of your income and lead a reasonably comfortable life.
  2. In terms of savings, I’m going to set it at 25% across the board.
  3. If you’re a bachelor like me then there’s no need to select an apartment that’s more than 50 square meters. And most decent apartment rentals at this size range from 1,400 RMB to 2,000 RMB/month (depending on the city that you live in). So I’m going to say that 1,700 RMB – 1,800 RMB is a good price point to aim for in terms of apartment rentals.
  4. Water and electric bills tend to even out at 200 RMB at the end of each month even if you’re excessive. It’s a small expense in relation to your net income.
  5. Cable/ Internet/ Phone bill. Most mobile service companies in China offer package deals where you get free cable, unlimited internet, 20 gigs of mobile data, free text messaging, and 100 calling minutes for 100 RMB/ month. Another small expense.
  6. I’ve set the budget relatively high for the food budget because I understand the importance of quality food. What you eat is going to impact you in every facet of your life. 700 RMB a week on food allows you to have the freedom to eat whatever you want to eat.
  7. Taxi/ train/ bus. Once again, I’ve set the budget for this expense relatively high. The reason being is because taking trains and buses is exhausting. Whatever energy that you had leftover after finishing work is going to be burned out after commuting home on a train or a bus. I prefer to take taxis and get a little nap during the one hour commute to and from work. This way I don’t come home with an empty battery. I have enough energy left over to hit the gym, read books, bang, study, and write.
  8. If you want to workout in a good Chinese gym where the equipment and overall gym atmosphere is sufficient, then you‘re going to be spending around 200 RMB a month. No… I’m not talking about the commercialized fitness clubs that appeal to middle aged women with flashing lights, desperate salespeople, desperate coaches, yoga classes, and spin classrooms. No, fuck that noise. I’m talking about the gyms where the equipment is top notch. There are no desperate personal trainers or salespeople anywhere in sight, and all of the people who go there have one main objective in mind: To lift heavyweights.
  9. Entertainment. I’ve set the budget at 500 RMB a week for entertainment and I think that’s reasonable. 500 RMB a week allows you to go out twice a week without having to be too cautious about your budget. Alternatively, you could use this money for other things.
  10. So here’s your outlook after one year:
    1. You have 72,000 RMB saved, assuming that you didn’t spend the money that’s leftover in your monthly total box.
    2. If you lose your job, then you can survive for the next 10 months if you live like a monk.

Spreadsheet #2:

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  1. 10,000 RMB is your net income, and that’s what I’d call a safe zone salary. You’re not doing good, and you’re not doing bad. You’re in a safe zone, and your goal should be to get out of this safe zone as soon as possible. Why? Because your freedom to pursue different avenues and save money is more limited than the guy who’s earning 16K. So the first thing that you need to do is persuade your boss to increase your salary. If that doesn’t work then you’re going to have to consider taking on side jobs until you can find a better job.
  2. Taxi/ Train/ Bus. I’ve decreased the monthly budget by 500 RMB which means that you’re going to have to live with taking the bus and train sometimes. No big deal.
  3. Entertainment. The entertainment money has been cut by two thirds. What does this mean for you? It means that if you want to maintain an active social life, then you’re going to have to get creative and take on some outdoorsy activities (such as cycling, hiking, tennis, and running). Check out a good movie, coffee shop, an art museum, a nearby park, the beach, or a pool hall; these sorts of things.
  4. So here’s your outlook after one year:
    1. You have 36,600 RMB saved, assuming that you didn’t spend the money that’s leftover in your monthly total box.
    2. If you lose your job, then you can survive for the next 5 months if you live like a monk.

Spreadsheet #3:

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  1. 7,000 RMB is your net income. This is bottom of the barrel. If you don’t have any friends now, you better start making them fast. Make as many friends as fast as you can, and leverage your connections to find better job opportunities.
  2. Food. Your food budget is going to decrease by 300 RMB. What does this mean for you? It means no more bacon for breakfast.
  3. Taxi/ train/ bus. Forget about a taxi, you’re taking the bus and train everywhere if you can’t get there by foot. 10 RMB a day is enough.
  4. Gym. Yup… You’re going to have go to one of those flashy commercial gyms for middle aged women. Plan to go one hour before closing hours. Most of the yoga mats, hula hoops, and single moms will be nowhere in sight around this time of night. Look at the bright side, you’ll save 1,200 RMB.
  5. Entertainment. 100 RMB a week is what you got, use this money wisely. Use this money to build relationships with people who are in better situations than you.
  6. So here’s your outlook after one year:
    1. You have 22,800 RMB saved, assuming that you didn’t spend the money that’s leftover in your monthly total box.
    2. If you lose your job, then you can survive for the next 3 months if you live like a monk.

In my white book I outlined a basic money management manual that worked for me at the time when I wrote it. Consider this a new and updated version.

Why are single mothers SINGLE?

Reason #1: The husband decided that he doesn’t want to be with the Mother of his child anymore.

So the husband decided to walk away from his own ball of flesh, and the woman who gave birth to it. Let’s explore the possible reasons why he decided to do this.

Possible reason #1: There is something very wrong with the Mother.
Possible reason #2: There is something very wrong with him (the Father).

If there’s something wrong with the Mother, then it’s understandable why he left her. If there’s something wrong with him (the Father), then you have to ask yourself why the woman married him in the first place?

Both outcomes speak poorly on behalf of the Mother.

Reason #2: The woman decided that she doesn’t want to be with the Father of her child anymore.

Part 1:

It’s no mystery that raising children in an intact family is difficult as it is. So why would a woman (with children) voluntarily choose to leave a good, responsible guy who’s providing her with financial support and emotional security?

I think you can answer that for yourself.

Part 2:

Now let’s assume that she left her ex-husband because he’s a jerk. He’s a liar, a cheater, and he never answered her calls. Sometimes he didn’t come home until the early hours of the morning etc.

This tells you more about the single Mother than it does about her ex-husband. It tells you that she has poor judgment. It tells you that she often gets herself into bad situations, and she will continue to do so.

No matter how you spin the story, the reason why single Mothers are single is always a bad reason.

If you got value from this article, then you can check out my related articles below.

7 Things I Learned From My Relationship With A Single Mom

Be transparent about these 3 things if you intend to date a single mom.

 

Movies I Recommend

1. The Crow

2. Goodfellas

Goodfellas

3. Fight Club

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4. Casino

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5. Bloodsport

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6. Friday Night Lights

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7. American Psycho

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8. The Matrix

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9. Blade Runner 2049

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10. Idiocracy

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11. Glengarry Glen Ross

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12. The Truman Show

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13. Haggard

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14. Back To The Future

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15. How To Be A Man

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16. The Quiet Man

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7 Things I Learned From My Relationship With A Single Mom

I recently managed to safely escape a one-year relationship with a single mom, and I would like to share seven things that I’ve learned from this relationship with you.

Before we begin, I want to preface by saying that the advice which I provided in my previous article Be transparent about these 3 things if you intend to date a single mom. works well in short term relationships (3-6 months). However, things change drastically after the six-month marker. The fun and games come to an end and her child will begin to take priority in the relationship. With that said I’d like to provide you some insight on what you can expect in a long term relationship with a single mom.

1. You will always be Mr.Second Banana Man.

And that’s understandable. The question is whether you’re okay with being Mr.Second Banana Man? What a single moms son wants and needs will always be at the top of her priority list. On the flip side, what you want and need will always be at the bottom of her list. You aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things. You’re just there to provide her with comfort in the form of emotional and sexual satisfaction when she wants it. You’re no different than the friend zone guy that she goes to hug after she gets banged out and dumped by a handsome playboy. But in this case, you’re Mr.Second Banana man to a snotty-nosed kid who has no respect for you.

2. She will not discipline her son and you have NO RIGHT to discipline him.

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Here’s the truth, single mothers will not discipline their children. Why? Because their children are the only thing they have. And she will not accept you asserting authority over her children even when you’re right. This is a sucker position, a chokehold position.  The question that you have to ask yourself is whether you want to voluntarily put yourself in this position?

3. 100% investment and 0% return on investment, also known as THE BLACK HOLE.

You will never get a return on the time, energy and resources that you invest into a kid that does not belong to you. It’s like throwing money into a black hole beneath the surface of the earth. You’re never going to get a return on your investment. It’s a sucker move.

Why would you invest in the worst stock on the market when you have better options?

4. Frame and lifestyle conflict.

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Single moms are always on low battery life because it’s not easy to raise a kid alone. For this reason, her lifestyle may be very different from yours. Every night she’ll be in bed by 9:00 pm, and she’ll be up every morning by 5:00 am. Single moms have daily schedules which revolve around their kids, and for this reason, they’re not very flexible or fun. Not to mention that they’re limited with their time, energy and resources because the majority of their battery life is going towards their kid/s.

Now if you’re a guy like me then you can understand that single moms are probably not compatible with you in terms of lifestyle. I typically wake up around 9:30 am and go to sleep around midnight. A regular day for me is split between writing, reading, fitness, leisure time, social time, work, and study. And these things are of great importance to me.

So let’s move onto the frame aspect. In the first three to six month period you’ll likely enjoy your relationship with a single mom as they won’t have any significant demands, they’ll be uninhibited in the bedroom, and you’ll rarely have to acknowledge her child’s existence.

A single mom will live life through your lens for a temporary part of the relationship but you shouldn’t be foolish enough to think that you can maintain this frame over the long term. She has a vision for the future, and her vision will come to fruition after she has you hooked.

Her vision is that you’ll eventually live life through her lens, by her rule of law and order. If you stick around long enough you’ll get to witness her attempt to swing the pendulum in her direction.

5. Understanding her end goal.

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Her end goal for you is to be an adoptive Father who takes on part of the responsibility of her child. Potentially you could also provide her with a lifestyle upgrade. That’s the cold hard truth. Once again, it’s a sucker move for you.

6. Envisioning a future with her and her son.

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If you pursue a future with a single mom then you’re voluntarily cuckolding yourself. There is nothing good that can come from that. I’d rather not paint a picture of what you can expect from a future with a single mom because I think you already have a clear idea in your mind.

7. Why you shouldn’t stop listening to your intuition.

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After the honeymoon stage of my relationship with this single mom, I had a voice in the back of my head telling me to run.

Runaway as fast as you can.

And believe me, I tried to run away from this relationship many times over the past year.  The reason being is because I don’t question my intuition. I understand that the little voice in the back of my head is there for a reason. However, I was dragged back into this relationship over and over again through the means of “conversation” which always led to make-up sex.

The point that I want to get across here is that although I challenged my intuition, I never stopped listening to it. My intuition made me resistant to her irrational demands and eventually she decided to give up.

I was lucky in this sense. However, you should understand that your intuition is there to protect and guide you like a guardian angel. You are free to challenge it, but you should never stop listening to it.